Lili Elbe Digital Archive

A1: Man Into Woman (American Edition)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

Imedens sad Grete og Hvappe og ventede i Atelieret. Hvappe var det tredie Medlem af den lille Husstand, en hvid og lyserød Hundefrøken, der var indfødt Pariserinde og mest af alt lignede en Leverpostej med Trøfler; ligesom den ægte Strassburgerpostej var ogsaa den omgivet af et allerkæreste Fedtlag. Det hindrede dog ikke, at den paa Grete s Malerier blev saa slank som en Daa og mindede om de æteriske Fabeldyr, man finder paa gamle gotiske Tapeter og kostbare Gobeliner.

d1c03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe waited in the studio. Hvappe was the third member of the little household, a white and pink female dog who was a native of Paris and most of all looked like a liver pâté with truffles; just like the genuine Strassburger pâté this too was surrounded by a dear layer of fat. However, she became as slender as a doe in Grete 's paintings and resembled the ethereal imaginary creatures one finds on old Gothic wallpapers and valuable tapestries.

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

wie die echte Strassburger Gänseleberpastete ist H a v appe mit einer allerliebsten Fettschicht bedeckt. Was ihn jedoch nicht daran hindert, auf Grete s Gemälden auffallend schlank, ja geradezu grazil zu erscheinen. Einem Lämmchen oder einem Reh, wenn nicht gar gewissen elfischen Fabelwesen, die man auf alten gothischen Tapeten oder köstlichen Gobelins findet, glich Hvappe dort...

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

Note: The German is really odd here. The dog is introduced as a HUNDEFRAEULLEIN - a small girl dog - yet is referred to in all other instances as "he" - which I think might be due to "dog" being generically masculine in German - "der Hund."

with a white coat and pinkish snout and feet, resembling a delicate liver paté with truffles. And just like a real life Strassbourgian fois gras, Hvappe is covered with a lovely layer of fat. Which does not keep her from appearing remarkably slender, delicate even, in Grete 's paintings. Hvappe resembled a lamb, or a fawn, if not even a certain elven fairytale creature portrayed on countless old, gothic tapestries and Gobelins...

ts-trc03p002

Hvappe havde forlængst fuldendt Familien Sparres Opdragelse. Baade Grete og Andreas kendte alle dens Vaner og havde lært at respektere dem. Til Gengæld tog den Del i Familiens Sorger og Glæder — og navnlig Maaltider. Den maatte være musikalsk, for den strakte sig altid i Velvære, naar den hørte Musik — kun Wagner gik den noget paa Nerverne. Naar Andreas satte Parcifal-Pladen paa Grammofonen, gav den sig til at tumle støjende med et Kødben I det forfængelige Haab at overdøve Musiken ...... Hvappe havde fine perlemorsfarvede Negle — i Forbindelse med Hvappe kunde man ikke bruge Betegnelsen Klør —, som den plejede at hvæsse paa Rokokomøblernes Silkebetræk, der derfor ogsaa i Reglen saa lidt hærget ud. Sin meste Tid tilbragte den paa Divanen, hvor den trods sin Lidenhed efterhaanden havde frembragt en lille Fordybning — ligesom en Rede.

d1c03p002

Hvappe had long since completed the Sparre family's education. Both Grete and Andreas knew all her habits and had learned to respect them. In return she took part in the family's joys and sorrows – and meals in particular. She must have been musical because she always stretched contentedly when she heard music – only Wagner

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

was something of a strain on her nerves. When Andreas put the Parsifal record on the gramophone she began to play noisily with a bone in the vain hope of drowning out the music ...... Hvappe had delicate nails the colour of mother of pearl – in connection with Hvappe one could not use the term claws – that she used to sharpen on the silk covers of the Rococo furniture, which for that reason often looked a little worn. Most of her time she spent on the divan where despite her smallness she had gradually created a little hollow – like a nest.

d1-trc03p002

❡

Hvappe ist ausserdem Erzieher der Familie Sparre. Schon seit langem. Und zwar mit grossem Erfolg. Grete und Andreas hatten längst gelernt, sich Hvappe in allen seinen Launen und Gewohnheiten zu fügen. Hvappe ist die wichtigste Person hier oben. Hvappe duldet keinen Widerspruch wie jeder Haustyrann. Das weiss Hvappe . Dafür aber nimmt Hvappe auch an allen Sorgen und Freuden des Familienlebens aufrichtig teil und Anteil ... und namentlich an allen Mahlzeiten, wobei auch Hvappe s besonderem

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

Hvappe has also been the educator of the Sparre family for quite a while now, and she is quite successful at her job. Grete and Andreas had long since learned to give in to Hvappe 's moods and mannerisms. Hvappe is the most important person up here. Hvappe does not accept dissent, like every domestic tyrant. Hvappe knows this. But Hvappe also sincerely takes part in all sorrows and joys of family life... Especially in the meals, although there, too Hvappe 's peculiar taste is honored.

ts-trc03p003

❡

Dafür aber respektiert Hvappe auch Andreas Liebe für Musik, besonders bei grammofonischen Darbietungen, kargt dann auch nicht mit Beifallsäusserungen, insbesondere bei Wagner -Platten. So hat Grete jetzt, um über die Stunden harter Spannung während Andreas ' Fortsein Hvappe die Zeit zu vertreiben, eine Parsifal-Platte aufgelegt, mit dem Erfolg, dass Hvappe zu einem Kalbskotelettknochen seine Zuflucht nimmt und damit einen wahren Indianerkrigestanz zum besten gibt, in der Hoffnung fernes Unwettergemurre und andere bedrohliche oder schmerzliche Geräusche zu übertäuben...

tsc03p004

In return, Hvappe respects Andreas ' love of music, especially for performances on the grammophone, and does not hold back uttering applause, especially when it comes to Wagner records. So in order to pass the hours of high tension during Andreas ' absence, Grete has put on a Parcival record. This has resulted in Hvappe taking refuge with a veal chop bone and performing an Indian war dance, hoping to drown out distant sounds of thunder and other threatening or painful noises...

ts-trc03p004

❡

( Obwohl Hvappe eine geborene Pariserin ist, - was, wie bereits erwähnt, eigentlich eine kleine Entgleisung ist, wenigstens in der guten Pariser Gesellschaft, - spielt Hvappe ansonsten ausschliesslich mit Puppen aus Holland . Eine Freundin von Grete und Andreas , also auch von Hvappe , ist die Spenderin dieses Spielzeugs, denn sie ist glückliche Besitzerin einer ganzen Pekingeser-Familie und hat es auf diese Weise zu beträchtliche, Hundeverstand gebracht. )

tsc03p005

Although Hvappe is a native Parisian, which is a spot of bother for the city's high society, she exclusively plays with dolls from Holland . A friend of Grete and Andreas , and thus also a friend of Hvappe , is the donor of these toys, because she is a happy owner of a whole family of Pekinese, and through them has gained quite some insights into canine nature.

ts-trc03p005

❡

( Trotz Grete s herzlichem, etwas verhaltenem Zuspruch will Hvappe heute jedoch nichts von seinen holländischen Gespielen wissen. Alle Aufforderungen, den Knochen mit einem Püppchen zu vertauschen, - denn die Püppchen sind wattiert und drum geräuschlos, - schlägt Hvappe in den Wind. )

tsc03p006

But Hvappe is bent on ignoring all of her Dutch playthings today, in spite of Grete 's heartfelt encouragements. Hvappe ignores all attempts to exchange the bone with a doll, the dolls are made of cotton and therefore noiseless.

ts-trc03p006

❡

Hvappe besitzt feine, perlutterfarbene Nägel, - Krallen darf man in Verbindung mit Hvappe nicht sagen, - die an dem Seidenbezug der alten Rokokkomöbel poliert werden. Diese Schönheitspflege Hvappe s ist an der Schönheit der alten Sessel nicht spurlos vorübergegangen. ( Drum sehen sie meist etwas angegriffen aus, was besonders Frau Elena , die auf Ordnung und Achtung auch vor den sogenannten toten Dingen, die nach ihrer Ansicht durchaus lebendig sind und eine richtige Seele haben, hält, zu manchem kleinen Vorwurf Anlass gegeben hat. ) Meistens liegt Hvappe auf einem Divan, und trotz Hvappe s Winzigkeit hat Hvappe s es fertig gebracht, dass dieser Divan allmählich inmitten seiner Liegefläche einem respektablen Storchennest gleicht. ( Nur wenn Grete oder Andreas unpässlich sind und auf dem Divan sich etwas Ruhe gönnen müssen, ist Hvappe bereit, seinen Nestplatz mit einem etwas kleineren Plätzchen zu Häupten oder zu Füssen seiner Hausstandsgenossen zu begnügen. Ist einer von ihnen aber so krank, dass das Bett gehütet werden muss, so bleibt Hvappe mitten auf dem Divan, in seinem Storchennest liegen, niemand vermag ihn daraus zu vertreiben, denn in solchen Fällen ist Hvappe viel kränker und ruhebedürftiger als der wirkliche Patient ... )

tsc03p007

Hvappe has slender, mother of pearl colored nails – since they are connected to Hvappe they hardly qualify as claws. She polishes them on the silken coverings of the old rococo furniture. This beauty regimen did not pass the beauty of the old armchairs by without a trace. Which is why they look somewhat distressed, which caused especially Elena to utter the odd, small reproach, since she pays attention also to the orderliness of and respect for so-called dead things, which in her view are indeed alive and possess a real soul. Hvappe lounges on a divan. And in spite of Hvappe 's tininess, she has managed to have the divan resemble a respectable stork's nest in the middle of its seating area. Only when Grete or Andreas are unwell and require some resting time on the divan, Hvappe is willing to give up her nesting place and accept a smaller place over the heads or at the feet of her housemates. However, if one of the two is actually, truly sick and requires bed rest, Hvappe will retain her stork's nest on the divan, and nobody will be able to shoo her away from it, since in such cases, Hvappe is a lot sicker and a lot more requiring rest then the actual patient...

ts-trc03p007

❡

( Die Parsifal-Platte war längst von einem modernen Tonfilmschlager abgelöst worden. Grete weiss sich vor Spannung kaum noch zu helfen. Es sind bereits Stunden seit Andreas ' Aufbruch vergangen. Hvappe liegt längst auf seinem obligaten Platz und schnurrt wie ein Kätzchen. Plötzlich fährt er hoch, setzt sich hin, spitzt das linke Ohr, dann das rechte, dann beide ... knurrt auf ... und pfeilt dann von dem Divan hinunter und mit einem Gemisch von Gekläff und Geheul hinaus an die Entrètür... )

tsc03p008

The Parcival record had long since been replaced by a sound-film record. Grete is so tense she can barely contain herself. Hours have passed since Andreas left. Hvappe has occupied her usual place, and purrs like a kitten. Suddenly she jumps up, sits down, perks up the left ear first, then the right, then both at the same time... growls... and shoots towards the entrance like an arrow, howling and yapping at the same time...

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

When at last he entered, he was as pale as death. Grete hurried to him. She led him to the sofa, upon which he collapsed helplessly. Grete remained sitting by him for a long time without saying a word.

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

Da Andreas endelig viste sig, fo'r Hvappe henimod ham og sprang henrykt og bjæffende op ad ham. Andreas var ligbleg, Grete ledte ham hen til Divanen og satte sig ved Siden af ham. Hun spurgte ikke, men tvang baade sig selv — og Hvappe — til at forholde sig afventende.

d1c03p003

When Andreas finally appeared Hvappe rushed toward him and jumped delightedly and barked at him. Andreas was deadly pale, Grete guided him to the divan and sat next to him. She did not ask but forced herself – and Hvappe – to wait and see.

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

( Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos, auch Hvappe rührt sich nicht, blickt nur mit tief bekümmerten Augen den Ermatteten an. "Brauchst nicht gleich zu sprechen, Lieber," spricht sie milde ihm zu, streichelt ihn beschwichtigend ... ahnt alles... )

tsc03p011

Grete sits by his side for a long while, not saying a word. Hvappe also doesn't stir, only gazing at the exhausted man with sorrowful eyes. "No need to talk, dear," she says to him mildly, caressing him soothingly... suspecting everything...

ts-trc03p011

❡

When at length Andreas began to speak, she listened to him with closed eyes, and Andreas too spoke with closed eyes. How much of it all was a dream? And how much reality? Did that which was then beginning mean redemption, the redemption? Whither led the way for him, for her, for both?

a1c03p003

Und als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm zu mit geschlossenen Augen. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit? ( Diese Frage rührt Grete s Frauenherz an. )

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Da Andreas endelig begyndte at tale, hørte hun paa ham med lukkede Øjne. Hvad var nu Drøm og hvad var Virkelighed? Spændt lyttede hun til de Ord, hvormed han søgte at beskrive sit Møde med den tyske Læge ...... — Var det muligt, at det var Udløsningen, Frel-

Note: 2*

sen for hendes Ven? spurgte Grete i sit Hjerte. Hvorhen gik nu Vejen for ham, for hende, for dem begge? Tusinde Spørgsmaal og Bekymringer stormede ind paa hende, medens Andreas fortalte, opfyldt af sin store Oplevelse.

d1c03p004

When Andreas finally started to speak she listened to him with her eyes closed. What was dream and what was reality? Excited she listened to the words with which he tried to describe his meeting with the German doctor ...... - Was it possible that this was the release, the sal-

vation for her friend? Grete asked in her heart. Where did things lead for him, for her, for both of them? A thousand questions and concerns stormed at her while Andreas recounted, filled by his great adventure.

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

Und Grete mit ihrem wachen, immer auf das Wesentliche gerichtetem Verstand, während sie jetzt leise die Augen wieder öffnet und auf den noch immer wie atemlos daliegenden Freund niederschaut, spürt: eine Schicksalswende ist es, was hier herannaht ... ein Abschiednehmen von einem Wesen ... und ein Sterben ... und dann, wer weiss es denn, was dann kommt .... Auferstehen eines anderen Wesens ... Neugeburt...?

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

again, beholding the friend, lying there as if out of breath, she feels it: a change in fate is approaching... A farewell to a creature ... and a dying ... and then, who knows what comes then.... A resurrection as a different being ... a rebirth ...?

ts-trc03p017

Grete havde en vaagen og klar Hjerne, der altid forstod at udskille det væsentlige, og da hun nu langsomt aabnede sine Øjne og saa ned paa Andreas , forstod hun, at det var Skæbnen, der havde grebet ind, og at hun vilde komme til at staa overfor en Afsked med en Ven, der var hende kær ...... han skulde forsvinde, og hvem vidste, hvad der saa vilde hænde? Vilde der opstaa et nyt Væsen ...... et nyt Menneske?

d1c03p005

Grete had an alert and clear mind that always knew how to grasp the essence of things, and as she now slowly opened her eyes and looked down at Andreas she realised that it was fate that had intervened and that she would face a parting from a friend who was dear to her ...... he would disappear and who knew what would happen then? Would a new creature come into being ...... a new person?

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

At length he rose to his feet. Without a word he took Grete 's hands and led her to the easel in front of the broad window, through which the northern sky was lighting up the room. A large picture was leaning against the easel, upon which three female figures were to be seen. One of the women bore Grete 's features, another bore Elena 's features, and the third figure bore Andreas ' — Lili 's features!

a1c03p005

Da zuckt Andreas zusammen, richtet sich hart auf, nimmt Grete s Hand, packt sie hart, streichelt sie, und sein Zugriff wird immer leiser: " Grete , kleine, süsse Grete , jetzt nicht mehr traurig sein..."

tsc03p018

Dann führt er sie an die eine Staffelei, die in dem Atelier steht, vor dem breiten Fenster, durch das der Nordhimmel ruhig und schattenlos hereinleuchtet. Auf der Staffelei lehnt ein grosses Gemälde. Drei Frauengestalten, geschwisterlich vereint, sind darauf zu sehen. Vor ihnen liegt ein schimmernd helles, zierliches Wesen, ein Windspiel...

tsc03p022

Grete s Züge trügt die eine Frau ... Elena s Züge die andere ... und ~~zwische ihen~~ zwischen ihnen, wie behütet von zwei Schwestern, die dritte ... und sie trägt Andreas ' Züge ... nein, nicht Andreas '...

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

He guides her to an easel standing in front of a window in her atelier , lit up by the calm and shadowless northern sky. A large painting leans on the easel. On it, three female figures are shown, united in sisterhood.

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

Han førte hende hen til et Staffeli midt i Atelieret foran det brede Nordvindu. Paa Staffeliet stod et stort Maleri med tre Kvindeskikkelser, der syntes søsterligt forenede. Foran den ene laa en fin, slank Vindspiller, og Kvinden havde Grete s Træk. Den anden Kvinde havde Elena s Ansigt, og mellem de to — ligesom beskyttet af to Søstre — stod den tredie Kvinde, der lignede Andreas ...... det vil sige, nej, det var ikke ham ......

d1c03p008

He led her to an easel in the middle of the studio in front of the wide north window. On the easel stood a large painting with three female figures that were like sisters. In front of one lay a fine, slim dog, and the woman had Grete 's features. The other woman had Elena 's face and between the two – as though protected by the two sisters – was a third woman who resembled Andreas ...... that is, no, it was not him ......

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

Dann führt er sie an die Staffelei vor dem breiten Fenster, durch das der Nordhimmel hereinleuchtet. Auf der Staffelei lehnt ein großes Bild. Drei Frauengestalten sind darauf zu sehen. Grete s Züge trägt die eine Frau . . . Elena s Züge die andere . . . und zwischen ihnen die dritte . . . und sie trägt Andreas ', – Lili 's Züge!

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

" Grete ," spricht er dann aus tiefster Herzens Erschütterung, " Grete ," und seine Hand weist auf das Frauengesicht inmitten des Gemäldes, "hab Dank, Grete , weil du immer ... bis zuletzt ... an Lili geglaubt hast. Du weisst es, ich habe nie, nie daran zweifeln können ... Jch wusste es, dass der Tag kommen würde ... Liebste ... ich hab ja selber mein armes Leben verbracht im Lauschen auf Wind und Baum und Wolke ... wenn ich draussen herumwanderte und malte ... so gut ich konnte ... und schliesslich ... ach, weshalb davon sprechen ... dass ich schliesslich nicht mehr malen mochte ... nicht mehr konnte ... Aber ich war doch immer ehrlich und hellhörig draussen ... ahnte, wie es dort draussen trieb und keimte ... jeder Grashalm und jeder Strauch verriet mir seine Seele ... jedes Haus und jede Strasse, wo ich auch mit meinem Skizzenbuch, meiner Staffelei stand, zeigte mir ihr Herz ... Wie sollte ich mich da täuschen können, wenn ich auf mein Inneres lauschte und lauschte und spürte, dass sich darin etwas ... anderes ... neues ... oh, wie soll ich es nur sagen..., vorbereitete? ...."

tsc03p025

" Grete , Grete ," he begins, out of a deep disturbance of the heart. His hand points towards the woman's face in the middle of the painting. "Thank you, Grete . Because you always ... until the end, believed in Lili ... You know, I have never, never been able to doubt it... I knew it, knew the day would come... My dearest... I have spent my own, poor life, listening to breeze and tree and cloud... As I was wandering around outside, painting... as well as I could... and finally... Oh why talk about it... That I finally no longer wanted to paint... Couldn't do it anymore... But I was always truthful and attentive outside... I sensed it grew out there, out of its seed... Every blade of grass and every bush told me of their souls... Every house, every street, wherever I went with my sketchbook, my canvas, everything bared its heart... How should I be mistaken when I listened and listened to my innermost self, and felt that there was something... something new ... Oh, how to say it, that something new was getting ready?...."

ts-trc03p025

— Tak, Grete , tak, fordi Du lige til det sidste har troet paa Lili ...... Du ved jo, at jeg aldrig selv kunde tvivle ...... Du ved, hvorledes jeg har levet mit Liv, hvorledes jeg lyttede til Vinden, Træerne og Skyerne, hvorledes jeg vandrede omkring ude i Naturen og malede saa godt, jeg kunde, lige indtil ...... ja, hvorfor skulde jeg ikke sige det nu? ...... lige indtil jeg ikke kunde male mere ...... Du ved, at jeg altid var ærlig overfor det, jeg hørte ...... jeg vidste, hvorledes det groede og voksede derude ...... hvert Græsstraa, hver Busk fortalte mig om sin Sjæl ....... hvert Hus og hver Gade, hvor jeg tog min Skitsebog frem, viste mig sit Hjerte ...... hvorledes skulde jeg da kunne

Note: In most of the Danish text, the "could" in the past tense of the previous lines is spelled “kunde" (could) in accordance with the norm of the period. The form “kunne" is the spelling that has become the modern spelling of this form after the reform of Danish orthography in 1948 (initiated by the Social Democratic minister of culture Hartvig Frisch). Part of this reform was to change the d in the past tense of the modal verbs kunde (could), skulde (should), and vilde (would) to a double consonant.

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

"Thank you, Grete , thank you, for having believed in Lili to the very end ...... You know that I could never doubt myself ...... You know how I have lived my life, how I listened to the wind, the trees, and the clouds, how I walked about in nature and painted as well as I could, right until ...... yes, why shouldn't I say it now? ...... right until I could not paint anymore ...... You know that I was always honest with what I heard ......I knew how it grew and flourished out there ...... every blade of grass, every bush told me about its soul ...... every house and every street, where I took out my sketch book, showed me its heart ...... how could I disappoint myself when I listened to my own heart and heard that inside me something began to grow, something different ...... something new? ......"

d1-trc03p010

» Grete «, spricht er dann, »hab Dank, weil du immer . . . bis zuletzt . . . an Lili geglaubt hast. Du weißt es, ich habe nie, nie daran zweifeln können . . . Ich wußte es, daß der Tag kommen würde . . .

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

Grete lächelte ... ein fernes Lächeln ... Es galt nicht dem Bilde, vor dem sie standen, das wie viele ihrer Bilder mit Lili s fernen, - nahen Zügen wie eine Beschwörung wirken mochte ... Es galt dem Traumgesicht aus der letzten Nacht .... der weissen Gestalt ...

tsc03p026

Grete smiled ... a distant smile... It was not for the painting they stood in front of, which like many of her paintings with Lili 's distant yet close features might seem like an incantation. It was the face from last night's dream ... that white shape...

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

Om Aftenen brød Andreas sammen. Han havde kastet sig paa Divanen og græd i en hel Time med Ansigtet skjult i Puderne. Grete søgte forgæves at bringe ham til Fornuft, hans Modstandskraft svigtede ham.

d1c03p015

In the evening Andreas broke down. He had thrown himself on the divan and cried for a whole hour with his face hidden in the cushions. Grete tried in vain to bring him to his senses, his strength failed him.

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

Not until then did he dare to acknowledge to himself how great his torment and despair had been during these last years. Now he could be frank with himself. Now he must be. . . . Yet he badly needed help, but had a friend who would assist him, his brother-in-law , in whom he had confided for years and who knew the secret of Lili . Andreas poured out his heart to his distant relative.

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

Jetzt erst wagte er es, sich einzugestehen, wie groß in diesen letzten Jahren Qual und Verzweiflung gewesen war. Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein. Jetzt mußte er es . . . Doch er weiß, daß ihm Hilfe not tut. Einen Freund hat er, der ihm beistehen wird. Es ist der Mann seiner Schwester in Kopenhagen . Ihm hatte Andreas sich schon vor Jahren anvertraut. Der Schwager kennt das Geheimnis um Lili . . . Und Andreas schüttet dem fernen Schwager sein Herz aus.

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

Professor Werner Kreutz ' sidste Ord: »De har gaaet meget igennem«, lød stadig i hans Øre, og nu forstod han først, hvor sandt det var, nu, da han kunde være helt ærlig overfor sig selv ...... Heller ikke de følgende Dage formaaede han at tage sig sammen, skønt Grete gjorde alt for at hjælpe ham:

d1c03p016

Professor Werner Kreutz 's last words: "You have gone through a lot," were still in his ear, and only now he understood how true it was, now, when he could be quite honest with himself ...... Not even in the following days was he able to pull himself together, though Grete did everything to help him:

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

Und er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen. " Der fremde Mann hat mir eine neue Jugend versprochen ... Nein, nicht mir ... Lili darf leben, hat er gesagt. Lili ... Das ist die neue Jugend, die meiner wartet..."

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

Af og til fattede han dog nyt Mod ...... Den fremmede Mand lovede mig en ny Ungdom ...... nej, nej, ikke mig ...... Lili skal leve, sagde han ...... Lili ...... det er den nye Ungdom, han vil give mig!

d1c03p018

Now and then he took new courage, however ...... "The stranger promised me a new youth ...... no, no, not me ...... Lili will live, he said ...... Lili ...... that is the new youth he will give to me!"

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

Dage, hvor han var nedsunket i den dybeste Fortvivlelse, vekslede med Dage, hvor han var højt oppe og fuld af Forhaabninger. Ventetiden forekom ham endeløs. Tiden sneglede sig frem, og søvnløse Nætter skilte disse Dage, der var som trøstesløse Ørkner ...... En saadan Nat, da Andreas laa hen i en Døs, havde han følgende Drøm:

d1c03p019

Days when he sank into the deepest despair alternated with days when he was in high spirits and full of hope. The waiting time seemed endless to him. Time crept forward, and sleepless nights separated the days that were like bleak deserts ...... One such night when Andreas was dozing he had the following dream:

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

»Han sad i Toget til Berlin ...... det fo'r afsted op gennem Nordfrankrig ...... Farten var saa stærk, at Togets Slingren næsten var ophørt — det var, som om det modstandsløst sugedes ind i Afstanden. Andreas sad ved Vinduet og stirrede ud over Skovene og Markerne, da han pludselig i Taagen fik Øje paa en overnaturlig stor, kulsort Rytter, der red omkap med det jagende Tog — han red saa hurtigt, at hans Kappe stod parallelt med Vinden, spændt som et Sejl ...... Toget standsede ikke længere ved Stationerne, det rasede bare videre ...... men hver Gang det susede forbi en Station, skimtede Andreas i det svirrende Lys fra Perronens Lygter stadig den uhyggelige, sorte Rytter ...... Mørket fik efterhaanden en anden Karakter, som om Toget jog gennem Egne, der aldrig havde kendt

Solens Lys ...... Og pludselig trængte alle Passagererne sig gennem Sidegangene henimod Lokomotivet for at hjælpe Fyrbøderen; de skovlede Kul ind i den glødende Maskine for at øge Farten, og Andreas forstod, at Rytteren ved Siden af Toget var Døden ...... Hvert Øjeblik strakte Rytteren sin Arm ud, greb en af Passagererne og knækkede ham med en grufuld Latter mellem sine Negle ...... Under sin vanvittige Fart tabte Toget den ene Vogn efter den anden — til sidst var kun Tenderen tilbage bag Lokomotivet ...... De var naaet til Verdens Ende, og Toget styrtede ned i uendelige Dybder ...... Men Andreas er sprunget ud og befinder sig paa en smal Vej, der er skarp som et Knivsblad og ligger badet i Lys. Og pludselig staar Lili ved hans Side. Han griber hendes Haand, og de løber henad den knivskarpe Vej, forfulgt af Døden, som nu ikke længere er til Hest ...... Men Lili s Kræfter svinder, og Døden kommer stedse nærmere ...... Saa raaber Andreas : »Løb, lille Søster, løb ...... jeg vil kæmpe med Døden for Dig« ...... Kampen varer ikke længe. Døden er den stærkeste, den griber Andreas , løfter ham op, suger Livet ud af ham og slynger ham ned i Afgrunden, hvor hans Legeme hvirvler rundt og rundt som et vissent Blad ...... Men Lili løber og løber, til hun naar Enden af den smalle Vej. Saa springer hun ud — og falder i Armene paa en hvidklædt Skikkelse. Døden strækker sine Hænder ud efter hende, men den hvide Skikkelse vokser og bliver stor og mægtig, folder sine hvide Vinger ud og fylder hele Rummet ...... Fod for Fod trænger den Døden tilbage ...... Og nu er Lili paa en Ø med sølvlyse Birke ...... hun er bævende faldet paa Knæ, og en lille, blegrød, gotisk Engel støtter hende, medens hun hører Bruset fra de mægtige Vinger, da Døden overvindes af den kæmpende Genius og forsvinder i Dybet ......«

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

He sat in the train to Berlin ...... it darted through northern France ...... The speed was so high that the swaying of the train had almost ceased – it was as if it was sucked into the distance without resistance. Andreas was sitting by the window staring out over the woods and fields, when he suddenly caught sight of a supernatural great coal-black rider in the fog racing in competition with the rushing train - He rode so fast that his cloak was parallel to the wind, taut as a sail ...... The train no longer stopped at the stations, it just raged on .....but each time it rushed past a station Andreas still caught a glimpse of the sinister black rider in the whirring light from the lamps of the platform ...... the darkness gradually changed character, as if the train was rushing through areas that had never known

the light of the sun ......And suddenly all the passengers pushed through the aisles towards the locomotive to help the stoker; they shovelled coal into the glowing machine to increase the speed, and Andreas understood that the rider beside the train was Death ...... Every now and then, the rider stretched out his hand, grabbed one of the passengers, and cracked him with a gruesome laughter between his nails ...... During its frantic speed the train lost one carriage after another – eventually only the tender was left behind the locomotive ...... They had reached the end of the world, and the train crashed into endless depths ...... But Andreas has jumped out and finds himself on a narrow road, sharp as the edge of a knife and bathed in light. And suddenly Lili stands by his side. He takes her hand and they run along the knife-edge road pursued by Death, now no longer on horseback ...... But Lili 's strength fades and Death comes ever closer ...... Then Andreas cries: "Run, little sister, run ...... I'll fight against death for you" ...... The struggle does not last long, Death is the strongest, it grabs Andreas , lifts him up, sucking the life out of him, and hurls him into the abyss where his body whirls around and around like a dry leaf ...... But Lili runs and runs until she reaches the end of the narrow road. Then she jumps out – and falls into the arms of a figure dressed in white. Death stretches his hands out to her, but the white figure grows and becomes big and mighty, spreads its white wings and fills the whole room ...... Foot by foot it forces back Death ...... And now Lili is on an island with shining silver birches ......trembling she has fallen to her knees, and a small, pale red, gothic angel supports her while she hears the roar from the mighty wings as Death is overcome by the struggling Genius and disappears into the deep ......"

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

"You have not heard from me for a long time, because I have been able to tell you nothing good about Lili . From time to time I have been examined by several doctors, but without result. Throughout they prescribed sedative remedies, which left me no better nor wiser than I was before. For I want to know what is happening to me, even if it hurts. After consulting with Grete , Elena took me to one of her personal acquaintances, who received me three hours before he was leaving Paris . Then something happened which sounds almost like a miracle! I had a consultation with the famous surgeon and woman's doctor Professor Werner Kreutz ,

of Dresden . Strangely enough, he resembled you. He examined me a long time, and then declared that my case was so rare that only one similar case had been known up till now. He added that in the condition in which I am at present, I could hardly be regarded as a living creature, because the ray treatment had been a great mistake, especially as it had not been preceded by microscopical examination. Now he fears that this treatment in the dark may have destroyed my organs—male as well as female. Consequently, he wants me to go to Berlin as quickly as possible for the purpose of a microscopical examination.

a1c03l01p01

❡

Du hast lange nichts von mir gehört, weil ich Dir über Lili nichts Gutes erzählen konnte. Ich habe mich nach und nach von mehreren Ärzten untersuchen lassen, aber ohne Resultat. Sie haben mir durchweg schmerzstillende Mittel verordnet, von deren Gebrauch ich aber nichts halte. Denn ich will wissen, was in mir vorgeht. Selbst

Note: 2*

wenn es auch weh tut. Nach Beratung mit Grete hat Elena mich zu einem ihrer persönlichen Bekannten geführt – er empfing mich drei Stunden vor seiner Abreise von Paris . Jetzt kommt etwas, das sich wie ein Wunder anhört! Ich war bei dem berühmten Chirurgen und Frauenarzt Professor Werner Kreutz aus Dresden . Das Merkwürdige ist, daß er Dir ähnlich sieht. Er untersuchte mich lange und erklärte dann, mein Fall sei so selten, daß man bis jetzt nur einen ähnlichen gekannt habe. Er fügte hinzu, daß ich in dem Zustand, in dem ich mich jetzt befinde, beinahe nicht als lebendes Wesen angesehen werden könne, weil die Behandlung mit Bestrahlung ein großer Fehler gewesen sei, zumal ihr keine mikroskopische Untersuchung vorausgegangen sei. Jetzt befürchte er, daß diese Behandlung ins Blinde hinein meine Organe – sowohl die männlichen wie die weiblichen – zerstört habe. Deshalb will er, daß ich schnellstens zu einem Spezialisten in Berlin zwecks einer mikroskopischen Untersuchung fahre.

g1c03l01p01

" Some time afterwards he will operate on me himself . He wants to remove the dead (and formerly imperfect) male organs, and to restore the female organs with new and fresh material. Then it will be Lili who will survive !

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

Einige Zeit danach will er selber mich operieren . Er will die toten (und früher unvollkommenen) männlichen Organe entfernen und die weiblichen mit neuen und frischen erstatten. Dann wird es Lili sein, die weiterleben soll !

g1c03l01p02

"Her weak girl's body will then be able to develop, and she will feel as young as her new and fresh organs. Dear Christian , I am now sitting here and weeping like a child while I am writing you these lines. It seems so like a miracle that I dare not believe it. One thing, however, consoles me—that were it otherwise I must soon die. Grete and I believe we are dreaming, and are fearful of waking. It is too wonderful to think that Lili will be able to live, and that she will be the happiest girl in the world—and that this ghastly nightmare of my life is drawing to an end. This wretched comedy as a man! Without Grete I should have thrown up the sponge long ago. But in these dark days I have

had a fresh opportunity of seeing what a splendid girl she is . . . she is an angel. Over-exertions, her own sufferings, have left her unscathed. She has contrived to work for two, now that I am no longer worth much. I do what I am able, of course, and have exhibited and sold with success in all the important Salons. But now all this is over. I am no longer fit for anything. I am like a wretched grub which is waiting to become a butterfly. The operation is urgent, and the doctor would like me to proceed to Berlin immediately, as some twenty days must elapse between the first examination and the operation. And I must be in Dresden on the day he is ready to create Lili . He will send me medicine, which I am to take, in order to support the internal organs and thereby keep me alive until then. For practical reasons I begged for some delay, and I told him that I should prefer so to arrange matters as to proceed to Berlin via Copenhagen , as I wanted first to hold an exhibition in Denmark . I would then proceed from Berlin to Dresden at the beginning of April.

a1c03l01p03

❡

Ihr schwacher Mädchenkörper wird sich dann entwickeln können, und sie wird sich ebenso jung fühlen wie ihre neuen und frischen Organe. Lieber Christian , ich sitze hier und weine wie ein Mädel, während ich dies hier schreibe. Es hört sich wie ein Wunder an, daß ich es nicht zu glauben wage. Eins tröstet mich jedoch – daß ich sonst bald sterben müßte. Grete und ich glauben, daß wir träumen, und wir haben Angst zu erwachen. Es ist allzu wunderbar, daß Lili wird leben dürfen, daß sie das glücklichste Mädchen in der Welt werden wird – und daß dieser grauenvolle Alpdruck

meines Lebens jetzt ein Ende bekommt. Diese erbärmliche Komödie als Mann. Ohne Grete wäre ich längst erledigt gewesen. Aber ich habe in dieser Zeit aufs neue Gelegenheit gehabt, zu sehen, was für ein prachtvolles Mädel sie ist – sie ist ein Engel. Überanstrengungen, eigne Schmerzen usw. haben ihr nichts antun können, sie hat es dazu gebracht, für zwei zu arbeiten, jetzt, wo ich nicht mehr viel wert bin. Ich tue natürlich, was ich vermag, und habe in allen großen Salons mit Erfolg ausgestellt und verkauft. Aber jetzt ist auch dies vorbei. Jetzt kann ich nicht mehr. Ich bin wie eine erbärmliche Larve, die darauf wartet, ein Schmetterling zu werden. Die Operation eilt, und der Arzt hätte gern gesehen, daß ich sofort nach Berlin gefahren wäre, da zwischen der ersten Untersuchung und der Operation etwa zwanzig Tage vergehen müssen. Und ich muß in Dresden an dem Tage sein, an dem er die neuen Organe für Lili hat. Er will mir Medizin senden, die ich nehmen soll, um die inneren Organe und dadurch mich bis dahin am Leben zu erhalten. Aus praktischen Gründen bat ich um etwas Aufschub und ich sagte ihm, ich möchte es am liebsten so einrichten, daß ich via Kopenhagen nach Berlin kommen könnte, da ich vorher in Dänemark eine Ausstellung abhalten wollte. Von Berlin würde ich dann Anfang April nach Dresden kommen.

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

"Now, I do not know whether it is due to excitement, but my condition has worsened to such an extent that I no longer feel able to make preparations for an exhibition and attend to everything it involves—I realize that I have no time to lose.

a1c03l01p05

❡

Nun weiß ich nicht, ob es auch Gemütsbewegung ist, aber mein Zustand verschlimmert sich derartig, daß ich mich außerstande fühle, eine Ausstellung und alles, was vorausgeht, vorzubereiten – ich merke, ich habe keine Zeit zu verlieren.

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

how much it will cost. I only know that Elena has so arranged it that the Professor is taking an exceptionally low fee. Out of consideration for Grete I dare not take money from our savings; the less so as our trip to Rome and my illness has cost us so much.

a1c03l01p07

❡

Willst Du mir für die Operation und den Klinikaufenthalt Geld leihen? Ich weiß nicht, wieviel es kosten wird. Ich weiß nur, Elena hat es so geordnet, daß der Professor nur ein ganz geringes Honorar nimmt. Aus Rücksicht auf Grete wage ich nicht, Geld von unserer Reserve zu nehmen, um so weniger, als die Reise nach Rom und meine Krankheit uns viel gekostet hat.

g1c03l01p07

"I—or we—have deposited many pictures with Messrs. Heyman and Haslund , of Copenhagen , and I estimate their value to be between 7,000 and 10,000 kronen. I do not, however, know what the operation will cost, but I estimate it will come to between 4,000 and 5,000 kronen in all. I give you all these pictures in Denmark by way of security in the event of my death—and in any event. If the affair turns out badly, the pictures can be sold, and if it turns out well, we can soon repay you the money. Our earning powers are good, and we have many large orders.

a1c03l01p08

❡

Ich oder wir haben bei Heyman & Haslund in Kopenhagen viele Bilder stehen, ich nehme an für einen Wert von rund 7000–10000 Kronen. Ich weiß also nicht, was die Operation kosten wird, aber ich nehme an zwischen 4000 und 5000 Kronen im ganzen. Ich gebe Dir alle unsere Bilder in Dänemark als Sicherheit für den Fall, daß ich sterbe – und für alle Fälle. Geht es schief, werden die Bilder verkauft, und geht es gut, können wir Dir bald das Geld zurückgeben. Wir verdienen gut und haben viele und große Aufträge.

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

"It is only because I have the feeling that death is on my track that I send you this letter. Up till now I have never incurred debts in any quarter. Warmest greetings to you and the sister from Grete and

a1c03l01p10

❡

Nur weil ich spüre, daß mir der Tod auf den Fersen ist, sende ich Dir diesen Brief. Bis jetzt habe ich nie bei irgend jemandem Schulden gehabt. Die liebevollsten Grüße Dir und der Schwester von Grete und

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

Tage tiefster Niedergeschlagenheit, furchtbarster Verzweiflung, - um wieder abgelöst zu werden von Tagen glückseligsten Aufschwungs... Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihn bald Kunde zu geben ... Signal zum Aufbruch .... Signal zur "Nova Vita"...

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

In einer solchen Nacht hat Andreas diesen Traum: Er befindet sich im Zug nach Berlin . Durch Nordfrankreich geht die Fahrt; schneller und schneller jagt der Zug dahin, bis das Schlingern des Zuges ganz aufhört, und ihm war, als sauge der dahinfliegende Zug sich ohne Widerstand durch grenzenlose Entfernungen ... ( Kein Laut dringt an sein Ohr. ) Andreas sitzt am Fenster, blickt über Wälder und Felder ... plötzlich erblickt er in Nebel eingehüllt einen übernatürlich grossen, finsteren Reiter, der mit dem dahinjagenden Zug um die Wette rast. Er ritt so schnell, dass sein Mantel wie ein Segel prall im Winde steht. - Es ist Nacht. Der Zug saust wie ein Sturmwind dahin, nirgendwo wird gehalten. Nur, wo Stationen sind, erhebt sich jedesmal teuflischer Lärm, und in dem aufflackernden Licht der Bahnsteige erkennt Andreas immer den furchtbaren, schwarzen Reiter ... Das Dunkel verwandelt sich in eine

Finsternis, als habe noch nie ein Sonnenstrahl sie erleuchtet ... ( und auch das Land unter der Finsternis lag da, als wüsste es nicht, was Sonne ist ) ... Plötzlich stürzen alle Passagiere aus den Abteilen, rasen durch die Seitengänge n dar Waggons hin nach der Lokomotive, um den Heizern beizustehen, Kohlen, Kohlen, Kohlen in die Glut der Maschine zu schaufeln ... Der Reiter, der Tod ist dicht hinter ihnen ... und jeden Augenblick knipst er einen Heizer weg, mit einem fürchterlichen Grinsen, und zerdrückt den nächsten zwischen seinen Nägeln ... Einen Wagen nach dem anderen verliert der Zug im Rasen. Schliesslich ist nur noch der Kohlenwagen hinter der Lokomotive .... Da haben sie das Ende der Welt erreicht, und der Zug stürzt in grenzenlose Tiefen ... Aber Andreas ist abgesprungen ... vor dem Niedersturz ... er steht auf einem schmalen Weg, der sich scharf wie eine Messerschneide aus der Erde herauswand. ... Plötzlich steht Lili neben Andreas ... Er greift ihre Hand ... der Weg liegt in Licht gebadet da ... und beide hasten dahin ... in wilder Flucht .... der Tod hat sie aufgespürt ... und der schwarze Reiter hat sein Pferd verlassen ... es raste nicht schnell genug ... und er rast jetzt ohne Tier ihnen nach ... wilder und wilder in seiner Wut ... Aber Lili wird müde ... und der Tod nähert sich ihnen beiden ... Da schreit Andreas auf: "Eil, kleine Schwester, eil ... jetzt kämpfe ich mit dem Tode und halte ihn zurück!" ... Und Lili , die kleine Schwester, Lili eilte und eilte dahin ... wie von allen Sturmwinden getragen ... und sie hört, wie Andreas kämpft, mit dem Tode ringt. Aber es währt nicht lange. Der Tod hat ihn emporgehoben und alles Leben aus ihm ausgesogen und ihn dann in die unendliche Tiefe hinuntergeschleudert, - wo sein Körper dann wie ein welkes Blatt niederwirbelt ... Lili erreicht das äusserste Ende des schmalen Weges ... dort reisst sie beide Arme auf und fällt in die Arme einer hohen, weissbekleideten Gestalt , ... indes der Tod ihr nachhetzte, um sie zu greifen ... Jetzt aber verwandelt sich das Traumerleben aus allen Schrecken wie zu einer Verklärung: die weisse Gestalt wurde gross und mächtig mit riesigen Schwingen. Und die Gestalt kämpft mit dem Tod, und die weissen Schwingen füllen mit ihrem Rauschen das Land ... Sie waren auf einer Insel mit silbernen Birken.

tsc03p046

In one of those nights, Andreas has this dream: He is on a train to Berlin . The trip crosses northern France . Faster and faster the train rushes, until the swerving of the train ceases altogether, and he feels as if the racing train moves across unbounded distances... No sound reaches his ear. Andreas sits at the window, gazing upon forests and fields... Suddenly he spots a supernaturally tall, sinister rider , clouded in fog, that tries to outrace the train. He rode so fast that his cloak stands in the wind like a sail. – It is night. The train swooshes ahead like a gale, no stops anywhere. Only that, wherever there are stations, a devilish noise rises, and in the flickering lights of the platform Andreas recognizes the terrible, black rider... The dark transforms into a

sheer blackness, as if it had never been touched by the sun... and the landscape, too, lay there in darkness as if it had never known what the sun was... Suddenly all passengers tumble from the compartments, race through the hallways of the train cars towards the locomotive, to help out the stokers shoveling coals, coals, and more coals into the glowing light of the machine... The rider, the grim reaper, is close behind them ... and every instance he snaps one of the stokers away, with a horrific grin, and then squishes the next one between his nails... The train loses car after car in the race. Finally, only the coal tender remains behind the locomotive... Now they have reached the end of the world, and the train falls into depths without end... But Andreas has jumped off... before the fall... he is standing on a narrow pathway that winds itself out of the ground like the edge of a knife... Suddenly Lili stands next to Andreas ... He clasps her hand... The world lies there bathed in light... and the two of them rush on ... in wild flight.... Death has found them... and the black rider has left his horse... He didn't race fast enough... and now keeps racing past them, without his mount ... wilder and wilder in his rage... But Lili is tiring... and the Reaper closes in on the two... Andreas calls out: "Hurry, little sister, hurry ... I will now fight Death and keep him at bay!" ... And Lili , the little sister, Lili hurried and hurried along ... as if carried by storm winds... And she hears Andreas struggling, wrestling with Death. But it doesn't last long. Death has raised him up and sucked all life from him and cast him into unending depths, -where his body is tumbling down like a wilted leaf... Lili reaches the furthest end of the narrow pathway... There she raises both arms upwards and falls into the arms of a tall shape, clad in white... while Death rushed to grab her... But now the dream experience transforms from all the terrors-as if into a apotheosis: the white figure grew large and powerful with giant wings. And the shape fights Death, and the white wings fill the lands with their wooshing... They were on an island full of silver birch trees.

ts-trc03p046

❡

Lili ist bebend auf die Knie gesunken, ein kleiner, blassroter, gothischer Engel hält sie aufrecht ... in ihr dröhnt noch das Brausen der mächtigen Schwingen, als der Tod vor dem Genius zusammenbrach - und in der Tiefe verschwand.

tsc03p047

Lili has sunken to her knees, quivering. A small, light reddish, gothic angel keeps her upright... within her the swoosh of the mighty wings still roar, as Death collapsed in front of the guardian spirit and disappeared into the depths.

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

One evening he said to Grete : "I often find myself thinking of my old schoolmaster now. He used to tell us the story of the negroes of Saint Croix , who broke out into revolt a day before their emancipation from slavery. Now I understand their feelings. I feel I can wait no longer."

a1c03p013

Einen Abend danach sagte er zu Grete : "Jch muss jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie ... Jch kann auch nicht länger warten..."

tsc03p049

One night though he said to Grete : "I have to think of my old school principal . He told us the story of the negroes on Saint Croix , who rioted a day before their liberation from slavery. I understand that now. I can't wait any longer either."

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

— Jeg kommer til at tænke paa min gamle Rektor, der fortalte om Negerslaverne paa St. Croix , at de gjorde Oprør netop Dagen før deres Frigivelse fra Slaveriet... Nu forstaar jeg det ...... jeg kan heller ikke længere holde ud at vente ......

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

"I come to think of my old headmaster who told us about the negro slaves at St. Croix , that they rebelled just the day before their release from slavery ... Now I understand ...... I can no longer bear to wait ......"

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

— Det er det bedste Svar, jeg kan give Dem ...... det viser, at jeg ikke længere betragter Dem som en Ven, men som en Veninde, og at vort Besøg hos den tyske Professor ikke har været nogen Drøm.

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

Elena lachte weiter. "Nun denn, mein Betragen soll Ihnen nur zeigen, dass ich Sie heute schon als - - eine Freundin betrachte und dass das Gespräch mit unsern deutschen Professor kein Traum gewesen ist..."

tsc03p056

Elena kept laughing. "Well, my behavior is just supposed to demonstrate to you that I already today regard you as a girl friend, and that the conversation with our German professor has not been a dream."

ts-trc03p056

❡

A few days later, on a Monday morning, Elena received a telegram from a friend in Berlin directing Andreas to arrive in Berlin not later than the following Saturday and to stay at a specified hotel, which the Professor frequented during his visits to Berlin . A letter would be awaiting Andreas in the hotel.

a1c03p014

Weniger Tage später, an einem Montagmorgen, kam ein Telegramm bei Elena an, von einer Freundin aus Berlin abgesandt: Andreas sollte spätestens am nächsten Sonnabend in Berlin eintreffen und in einem näher bezeichneten Hotel dort absteigen ... Dort wohne bei seinen häufigen Besuchen in Berlin stets der Professor ... Im Hotel werde Andreas dann einen Brief vorfinden...

tsc03p057

A few days later, on a Monday morning, a telegram arrived at Elena 's, sent from a girlfriend in Berlin : Andreas should arrive in Berlin the following Saturday the very latest, and check into a designated hotel there... The Professor supposedly lived in that hotel whenever he visited Berlin ... At the hotel , Andreas was to find a letter...

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

Wenige Tage später, an einem Montagmorgen, kam ein Telegramm bei Elena an, von einer Freundin aus Berlin abgesandt: Andreas sollte spätestens am nächsten Sonnabend in Berlin eintreffen und in einem näher bezeichneten Hotel absteigen . . . Dort wohne bei seinen häufigen Besuchen in Berlin der Professor . . . Im Hotel werde Andreas dann einen Brief vorfinden . . .

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

Grete og Elena fulgte Andreas til Toget. Siden Telegrammets Ankomst havde han næsten ikke talt ...... Heller ikke paa Banegaarden viste han sin overvældende Bevægelse. Kun et Par spøgende Bemærkninger kom over hans Læber ...... han higede bare efter at komme bort og være alene ...... flygte fra Fortiden og Nutiden ...... og ikke tænke , før Maalet var naaet ...... Hvilket Maal? ...... Han vovede ikke at spørge om det ...... Alt dette hvirvlede rundt i hans Hjerne ...... men ingen skulde mærke noget, ingen ...... Og da Toget satte sig i Gang, vinkede han glad Farvel til sine to kære Veninder ...... Men hans Ansigt var stift som en Maske.

d1c03p029

Grete and Elena accompanied Andreas to the train. Since the arrival of the telegram he had hardly spoken ...... Nor did he show his overwhelming emotion at the station. Only a couple of playful remarks passed his lips ...... he just felt an intense longing to get away and be alone ...... escape from the past and the present ...... and not think before the goal was reached ...... what goal? ...... He dared not ask ...... All this whirled round in his brain ...... but no one should notice, no one ...... And when the train started to move, he happily waved goodbye to his two dear friends ...... But his face was rigid like a mask.

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

Since the arrival of the telegram he had scarcely uttered a word. He seemed like a man living in a dream. Every joy and every sorrow he shut up in his heart. Even at the moment of farewell he scarcely betrayed any excitement. To be alone . . . to get away . . . fleeing towards a new fate . . . fleeing from past and future . . . and—to refrain from thinking until the goal was reached. . . . What goal?

a1c03p017

Er hatte seit Eintreffen des ~~Tages~~ Telegramms fast nichts mehr gesprochen. Wie ein Schlafgänger kam er sich vor ... wie ein Traumwandler. Jede Freude und jeden Schmerz verschloss er in sich. Auch im Bahnhof liess er sich seine masslose Erregung kaum anmerken. Er riss sich zusammen. Ein paar launige Bemerkungen ... das war alles, was über seine

Lippen kommen liess. Allein sein ... allein sein ... fort von hier... Flucht ins neue Schicksal hinein ... Flucht von Vergangenheit und Gegenwart ... und: nicht denken , bis das Ziel erreicht war. Das Ziel ... Welches Ziel? - - Er wagte es nicht auszudenken...

tsc03p059

He had barely spoken since the arrival of the telegram. He felt like a somnambulist... like a dream walker. Every joy, every pain he hid within. Even at the station he did not let anyone see his boundless excitement. A few moody remarks ... that was all that he

let come over his lips. Being alone ... being alone ... being away from here. A flight into a new fate... An escape from past and present. And: no thinking until he was at his destination. The destination... What destination? ... he did not dare think...

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Er hatte seit Eintreffen des Telegramms fast nicht mehr gesprochen. Wie ein Traumwandler kam er sich vor . . . Jede Freude und jeden Schmerz verschloß er in sich. Auch beim Abschied ließ er sich seine Erregung kaum anmerken. Allein sein . . . fort von hier . . . Flucht in ein neues Schicksal hinein . . . Flucht von Vergangenheit und Gegenwart . . . und: nicht denken , bis das Ziel erreicht war . . . Welches Ziel? – –

g1c03p022

❡

All dies quirlte in seinem Hirn ... Niemand sollte es ihm anmerken. Niemand. Und als der Zug sich langsam in Bewegung setzte, winkte er ein lächelndes Lebewohl seinen beiden geliebten Freundinnen zu... Sein Gesicht war starr wie eine Maske...

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡

TS: Lili Elbe Buch (German Typescript)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

d1c03p001

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

ts-trc03p002

d1c03p002

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

d1-trc03p002

❡

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

ts-trc03p003

❡

tsc03p004

ts-trc03p004

❡

tsc03p005

ts-trc03p005

❡

tsc03p006

ts-trc03p006

❡

tsc03p007

ts-trc03p007

❡

tsc03p008

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

d1c03p003

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

tsc03p011

ts-trc03p011

❡

a1c03p003

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

ts-trc03p017

d1c03p005

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

a1c03p005

tsc03p018

tsc03p022

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

d1c03p008

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

tsc03p025

ts-trc03p025

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

d1-trc03p010

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

tsc03p026

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

d1c03p015

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

d1c03p016

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

d1c03p019

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

a1c03l01p01

❡

Note: 2*

g1c03l01p01

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

g1c03l01p02

a1c03l01p03

❡

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

a1c03l01p05

❡

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

a1c03l01p07

❡

g1c03l01p07

a1c03l01p08

❡

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

a1c03l01p10

❡

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

tsc03p046

ts-trc03p046

❡

tsc03p047

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

a1c03p013

tsc03p049

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

tsc03p056

ts-trc03p056

❡

a1c03p014

tsc03p057

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

a1c03p017

tsc03p059

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

g1c03p022

❡

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡

TS-TR: Lili Elbe Buch (English Translation of German Transcript)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

d1c03p001

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

ts-trc03p002

d1c03p002

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

d1-trc03p002

❡

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

ts-trc03p003

❡

tsc03p004

ts-trc03p004

❡

tsc03p005

ts-trc03p005

❡

tsc03p006

ts-trc03p006

❡

tsc03p007

ts-trc03p007

❡

tsc03p008

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

d1c03p003

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

tsc03p011

ts-trc03p011

❡

a1c03p003

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

ts-trc03p017

d1c03p005

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

a1c03p005

tsc03p018

tsc03p022

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

d1c03p008

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

tsc03p025

ts-trc03p025

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

d1-trc03p010

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

tsc03p026

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

d1c03p015

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

d1c03p016

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

d1c03p019

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

a1c03l01p01

❡

Note: 2*

g1c03l01p01

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

g1c03l01p02

a1c03l01p03

❡

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

a1c03l01p05

❡

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

a1c03l01p07

❡

g1c03l01p07

a1c03l01p08

❡

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

a1c03l01p10

❡

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

tsc03p046

ts-trc03p046

❡

tsc03p047

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

a1c03p013

tsc03p049

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

tsc03p056

ts-trc03p056

❡

a1c03p014

tsc03p057

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

a1c03p017

tsc03p059

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

g1c03p022

❡

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡

D1: Fra Mand til Kvinde (Danish Edition)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

d1c03p001

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

ts-trc03p002

d1c03p002

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

d1-trc03p002

❡

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

ts-trc03p003

❡

tsc03p004

ts-trc03p004

❡

tsc03p005

ts-trc03p005

❡

tsc03p006

ts-trc03p006

❡

tsc03p007

ts-trc03p007

❡

tsc03p008

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

d1c03p003

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

tsc03p011

ts-trc03p011

❡

a1c03p003

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

ts-trc03p017

d1c03p005

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

a1c03p005

tsc03p018

tsc03p022

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

d1c03p008

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

tsc03p025

ts-trc03p025

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

d1-trc03p010

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

tsc03p026

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

d1c03p015

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

d1c03p016

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

d1c03p019

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

a1c03l01p01

❡

Note: 2*

g1c03l01p01

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

g1c03l01p02

a1c03l01p03

❡

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

a1c03l01p05

❡

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

a1c03l01p07

❡

g1c03l01p07

a1c03l01p08

❡

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

a1c03l01p10

❡

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

tsc03p046

ts-trc03p046

❡

tsc03p047

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

a1c03p013

tsc03p049

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

tsc03p056

ts-trc03p056

❡

a1c03p014

tsc03p057

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

a1c03p017

tsc03p059

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

g1c03p022

❡

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡

D1-TR: Fra Mand til Kvinde (English Translation of Danish Edition)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

d1c03p001

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

ts-trc03p002

d1c03p002

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

d1-trc03p002

❡

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

ts-trc03p003

❡

tsc03p004

ts-trc03p004

❡

tsc03p005

ts-trc03p005

❡

tsc03p006

ts-trc03p006

❡

tsc03p007

ts-trc03p007

❡

tsc03p008

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

d1c03p003

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

tsc03p011

ts-trc03p011

❡

a1c03p003

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

ts-trc03p017

d1c03p005

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

a1c03p005

tsc03p018

tsc03p022

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

d1c03p008

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

tsc03p025

ts-trc03p025

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

d1-trc03p010

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

tsc03p026

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

d1c03p015

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

d1c03p016

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

d1c03p019

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

a1c03l01p01

❡

Note: 2*

g1c03l01p01

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

g1c03l01p02

a1c03l01p03

❡

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

a1c03l01p05

❡

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

a1c03l01p07

❡

g1c03l01p07

a1c03l01p08

❡

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

a1c03l01p10

❡

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

tsc03p046

ts-trc03p046

❡

tsc03p047

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

a1c03p013

tsc03p049

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

tsc03p056

ts-trc03p056

❡

a1c03p014

tsc03p057

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

a1c03p017

tsc03p059

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

g1c03p022

❡

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡

G1: Ein Mensch wechselt sein Geschlecht (German Edition)

Chapter 3

For hours Grete had been waiting in the little studio for her husband's return.

a1c03p001

Währenddess warten Grete und Hvappe in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr.

tsc03p001

Meanwhile Grete and Hvappe wait for Andreas ' return to the small atelier apartment .

ts-trc03p001

d1c03p001

d1-trc03p001

Stundenlang hat Grete in der kleinen Atelierwohnung auf Andreas Rückkehr gewartet.

g1c03p001

❡

Hvappe ist das dritte Mitglied des winzigen Hausstandes, ein weisses, um Schnauze und Füsschen rosafarbenes Hundefräulein, das einer delikaten Leberpastete mit Trüffeln ähnelt.

Eebenso

Regularized form: Ebenso

tsc03p002

Hvappe is the third member of the tiny household: she is a tiny girl dog,

ts-trc03p002

d1c03p002

Note: Richard Wagner (1813-1883), German composer

d1-trc03p002

❡

Geschmach

Regularized form: Geschmack

Rechnung getragen wird.

tsc03p003

ts-trc03p003

❡

tsc03p004

ts-trc03p004

❡

tsc03p005

ts-trc03p005

❡

tsc03p006

ts-trc03p006

❡

tsc03p007

ts-trc03p007

❡

tsc03p008

ts-trc03p008

❡

Als Andreas eintritt, will das kleine Hundevieh den lang Erwarteten vor Freude fast umbringen.

tsc03p009

As Andreas steps through the door, it almost appears as if the tiny dog is trying to murder the long awaited man.

ts-trc03p009

❡

a1c03p002

Andreas ist bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete ist ihm entgegengeeilt. Sie muss den Geliebten Halt geben, führt ihn zu dem Divan, wo er

sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen lässt.

tsc03p010

Andreas is pale as if he was on death's door. Grete came rushing towards him. She has to hold her lover's hand, guides him towards the divan, where he

drops down, as if he was shattered.

ts-trc03p010

d1c03p003

d1-trc03p003

Als er endlich eintritt, ist er bleich wie ein Sterbenskranker. Grete eilt ihm entgegen. Sie führt ihn zum Diwan. Er läßt sich wie zerschlagen niederfallen.

g1c03p002

Grete bleibt lange neben ihm sitzen, wortlos.

g1c03p003

❡

tsc03p011

ts-trc03p011

❡

a1c03p003

tsc03p012

When Andreas starts to speak, she listens with her eyes closed. Andreas , too, talks with his eyes closed. What is a dream now? What is real? This question moves Grete 's woman's heart.

ts-trc03p012

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Als dann Andreas zu sprechen beginnt, hört sie ihm mit geschlossenen Augen zu. Auch Andreas spricht mit geschlossenen Augen. Was ist jetzt Traum? Was ist Wirklichkeit?

g1c03p004

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung?

g1c03p005

Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für sie, für sie beide? . . .

g1c03p006

❡

Sie lauscht jedem Wort, mit dem er das seltsame Zusammentreffen mit diesen deutschen Arzt beschreibt, zu beschreiben versucht...

tsc03p013

She listens to every word of him describing the strange encounter with the German Professor , he tries describing...

ts-trc03p013

❡

Ist das, was jetzt beginnt, Erlösung, die Erlösung für den Freund, den Gefährten, fragt Grete s Herz und begräbt diese bange Frage in sich. Wohin geht der Weg für ihn, für

ise

Regularized form: sie

, für sie beide? ...

tsc03p014

Is that what begins now, salvation, the salvation for the friend, the partner? Grete 's heart asks the question and buries it within. Where does the way lead him now? Her? Both of them? ...

ts-trc03p014

❡

Tausend Fragen und Ängste stürmen wieder auf Grete ein...

tsc03p015

A thousand questions and worries again descend on Grete ...

ts-trc03p015

❡

And Andreas , completely upset by all that he had just experienced, told his story in broken words.

a1c03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen ... Herzfetzen, fühlt Grete , sind es...

tsc03p016

And Andreas keeps telling his story, completely shaken by the preceding experience, keeps sputtering word fragments... heart fragments, as Grete feels...

ts-trc03p016

Note: 2*

d1c03p004

d1-trc03p004

Und Andreas erzählt, völlig aufgewühlt durch das Erleben vorhin, in Wortfetzen . . .

g1c03p007

❡

tsc03p017

And Grete with her attentive wit, always focused on what's important, while she now quietly opens her eyes

Note: Literally "the eyes." German knows both a construction with a gendered pronoun and a neutral determiner, and this text mostly uses the latter, which doesn't quite work in English

ts-trc03p017

d1c03p005

d1-trc03p005

❡

( Und sie ist nicht traurig. Ihre Augen sind ihm zugewandt.

tsc03p019

And she isn't sad. Her eyes are on him.

ts-trc03p019

Andreas opdagede hendes Bevægelse, han rettede sig op, tog hendes Haand og strøg blidt over den:

d1c03p006

Andreas saw her emotion, he sat up, took her hand, and gently stroked it:

d1-trc03p006

❡

"Sprich nur ... sprich, Liebster..." sagt sie schlicht.

tsc03p020

"Speak, dearest. Just speak," she says.

ts-trc03p020

— Grete , lille, søde Grete , Du maa ikke være bedrøvet ...... kom ......

d1c03p007

" Grete , sweet little Grete , you mustn't be sad ...... come ......"

d1-trc03p007

❡

Und Andreas steht jetzt vor ihr. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand. )

tsc03p021

And Andreas now stands in front of her, holding her hand.

ts-trc03p021

❡

a1c03p005

tsc03p018

tsc03p022

tsc03p023

Then Andreas twitches, suddenly sits up, takes Grete 's hand in a tight grip, caresses it, while his grasp gets ever softer: " Grete , little, sweet Grete , don't be sad any more."

ts-trc03p018

Note: The German reads "geschwisterlich vereint" - "united as siblings" - which lacks notions of gender completely

In front of them lies a shimmering bright, delicate creature, a whippet...

ts-trc03p022

One of the women bears Grete 's features ... another Elena 's ... and between them as if protected by two sisters, a third... And she bears Andreas ' features... But no, not Andreas '...

ts-trc03p023

d1c03p008

d1-trc03p008

Andreas steht auf. Wortlos hält er ihre Hand.

g1c03p008

g1c03p009

❡

Dort bleiben sie beide stehen ... tief erschüttert ... Andreas sucht nach Worten ... Grete streichelt und streichelt ihn ...

tsc03p024

They both stop there... deeply shaken... Andreas fumbles for words... Grete caresses him and caresses him some more...

ts-trc03p024

Længe blev de staaende foran Billedet, saa pegede Andreas paa den midterste Kvinde og sagde bevæget og inderligt:

d1c03p009

For a long time they stood in front of the picture, then Andreas pointed at the woman in the middle and, moved, sincerely said:

d1-trc03p009

❡

" Grete ," he then said, "be thankful that you

have believed in Lili to the last. You know that I have never been able to doubt her. I knew that the day would come. . . . I am so happy."

a1c03p006

tsc03p025

ts-trc03p025

skuffe mig selv, naar jeg lyttede til mit eget Indre og hørte, at der inde i mig spirede noget frem, noget andet ...... noget nyt? ......

d1c03p010

d1-trc03p010

g1c03p010

»Ich bin so glücklich«, sagt er.

g1c03p011

❡

tsc03p026

ts-trc03p026

Grete smilede fjernt, men hendes Smil gjaldt ikke Billedet, det

gjaldt det Ansigt, hun om Natten havde set i Drømme, den hvide Skikkelse ......

d1c03p011

Grete smiled distantly but her smile did not apply to the picture, it

concerned the face she had seen in dreams at night, the white figure ......

d1-trc03p011

❡

"Ich bin so glücklich," sagte sie.

tsc03p027

"I am so happy," she said.

ts-trc03p027

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede hun.

d1c03p012

"I'm so happy," she whispered.

d1-trc03p012

❡

"Jch bin so glücklich," sagte er.

tsc03p028

"I am so happy," he said.

ts-trc03p028

— Jeg er saa lykkelig, hviskede han.

d1c03p013

"I'm so happy," he whispered.

d1-trc03p013

❡

Und dann schwiegen sie beide.

tsc03p029

Then they both fell silent.

ts-trc03p029

Saa tav de begge.

d1c03p014

Then they were both silent.

d1-trc03p014

❡

On the evening of this fateful day Andreas collapsed. His powers of resistance were at an end.

a1c03p007

An dem Abend dieses ~~verhängnisvollen~~ schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

tsc03p030

Andreas collapsed on the evening of that ominous, fateful day.

ts-trc03p030

d1c03p015

d1-trc03p015

An dem Abend dieses schicksalsvollen Tages brach Andreas zusammen.

g1c03p012

Seine Widerstandkraft war zu Ende.

g1c03p013

a1c03p008

Denn jetzt erst ~~getsnad~~ wagte er es, sich selber einzugestehen, was er In diesen letzten Jahren an Qual und Verzweiflung durchgemacht hatte.

Jetzt durfte er offen gegen sich selber sein...

tsc03p034

Because only now did he dare to admit to himself the pain and anguish he had gone through in the past few years.

Now he could be open with himself...

ts-trc03p034

❡

g1c03p014

❡

Jn den folgenden Tagen versucht er sich zusammenzureissen.

tsc03p035

In the following days he tries pulling himself together.

ts-trc03p035

d1c03p016

d1-trc03p016

❡

Grete ist stets bei ihm. Sie spricht ihm beruhigend zu. "Jetzt musst du froh sein. Jetzt darfst du froh sein. Jetzt wird ja alles wieder gut."

tsc03p036

Grete is with him all the time. She calmingly talks to him. "You have to be happy now. You are allowed to be happy now. Everything will be good again."

ts-trc03p036

— Du skal være glad, hører Du, nu bliver alt jo godt!

d1c03p017

"You must be happy, you hear, now everything will be well!"

d1-trc03p017

❡

tsc03p037

And he begins to regain courage again. " The stranger promised me a new youth... No, not to me... Lili will be allowed to live, he said... Lili ... That is the new youth that awaits me..."

ts-trc03p037

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

❡

Er spricht immer wieder diese Worte vor sich hin. Sie werden ihm Führer durch diese Tage, diese schweren Tage und Wochen...

tsc03p038

He keeps saying these words to himself. They turn into his guide through these days, these hard days and weeks...

ts-trc03p038

d1c03p019

d1-trc03p019

❡

Neue Jugend ... Werner Kreutz hat sie ihm versprochen...

tsc03p039

A new youth... Werner Kreutz promised it to him...

ts-trc03p039

d1c03p020

Andreas — og ikke alene Andreas — glemte aldrig denne Drøm, som han ikke fortalte til nogen.

d1c03p021

Note: The following dream sequence is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc03p020

Andreas – and not only Andreas – never forgot this dream that he did not tell anyone.

d1-trc03p021

❡

Tage bangster Erwartung folgen...

tsc03p040

Days of anxious expectation follow...

ts-trc03p040

❡

" Paris .

a1c03l01ha

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

" 29th January, 1930 .

a1c03l01hb

❡

» Paris , den 29. Januar 1930

g1c03l01ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c03l01hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c03l01hb

a1c03l01p01

❡

Note: 2*

g1c03l01p01

a1c03l01p02

❡

d1c03p018

d1-trc03p018

g1c03l01p02

a1c03l01p03

❡

g1c03l01p03

"This does not particularly please the doctor ; but he understood that I had suggested this for practical reasons.

a1c03l01p04

❡

Dies gefiel dem Arzt nicht besonders, aber er verstand, daß ich dies aus praktischen Gründen vorgeschlagen hatte.

g1c03l01p04

a1c03l01p05

❡

g1c03l01p05

"Hence, I want your help.

a1c03l01p06

❡

Deshalb frage ich Dich, ob Du mir in dieser Sache helfen willst.

g1c03l01p06

"Will you lend me the money for the operation and the stay in the nursing-home? I do not know

a1c03l01p07

❡

g1c03l01p07

a1c03l01p08

❡

g1c03l01p08

"Tell no one except my sister anything of the contents of this letter, and be good enough to let me know what you decide as quickly as possible, first by telegram and then by letter.

a1c03l01p09

❡

Erzähl niemandem außer meiner Schwester etwas von dem Inhalt dieses Briefes, und sei so lieb, mir schnellstens zu antworten, wenn Du willst, zuerst telegraphisch und dann brieflich.

g1c03l01p09

a1c03l01p10

❡

g1c03l01p10

" Andreas ."

a1c03l01fa

❡

Andreas .«

g1c03l01fa

Two days later his brother-in-law 's answer arrived: a short telegram:

a1c03p009

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

"Don't worry. Whatever you need is at your disposal."

a1c03p010

❡

Zwei Tage darauf ist die Antwort des Schwager s eingetroffen; ein kurzes Telegramm: »Mach Dir keine Sorgen. Was Du brauchst, steht zu Deiner Verfügung.«

g1c03p015

Andreas breathed again; he began to summon up new courage.

a1c03p011

❡

Andreas atmet auf; er beginnt neuen Mut zu fassen.

g1c03p016

Werner Kreutz had promised to send him early news, the signal to strike his tent.

a1c03p012

tsc03p041

Days of deepest depression, a terrible despair, - relieved by days of the merriest upswings... Werner Kreutz had promised to give him news... a signal to depart... A signal for his "nova vita"...

ts-trc03p041

❡

Werner Kreutz hatte versprochen, ihm bald Nachricht zu senden . . . Signal zum Aufbruch . . .

g1c03p017

❡

Alles sollte zu Andreas Empfang in der Fremde vorbereitet werden ... Und sobald alles vorbereitet war, sollte Andreas Nachricht erhalten ... Tage furchtbarster Seelenfolter...

tsc03p042

Everything should be prepared for Andreas ' reception on foreign shores... And as soon as everything was prepared, Andreas should receive news... Days of the worst torture of the soul...

ts-trc03p042

❡

Tage ohne Ende ...

tsc03p043

Days without end...

ts-trc03p043

❡

Und doch auch Tage der Erwartung und des Glücks ...

tsc03p044

And yet also days of expectation and happiness...

ts-trc03p044

❡

Und die Tage schlichen hin ... und schlaflose Nächte lagen zwischen den Tagen wie trostlose Küsten.

tsc03p045

And the days crept by... And sleepless nights lay between those days like blighted coasts.

ts-trc03p045

❡

tsc03p046

ts-trc03p046

❡

tsc03p047

ts-trc03p047

❡

Nie hat Andreas diesen Traum vergessen können ... Und nicht nur Andreas ... Doch er verriet den Traun keinem Wesen.

tsc03p048

Andreas could never forget this dream. And not just Andreas . But he didn't tell anyone of the dream.

ts-trc03p048

❡

a1c03p013

tsc03p049

ts-trc03p049

En Aften sagde Andreas til Grete :

d1c03p022

d1c03p023

One evening Andreas said to Grete :

d1-trc03p022

d1-trc03p023

Eines Abends sagte er zu Grete : »Ich muß jetzt oft an meinen alten Gymnasialdirektor denken. Er erzählte

uns so oft die Geschichte von den Negern auf Saint Croix , die einen Tag vor ihrer Befreiung aus der Sklaverei Aufruhr gemacht haben. Jetzt verstehe ich sie . . . Ich kann nicht mehr warten . . .«

g1c03p018

❡

Tags darauf ging er zu Elena . Sie empfing ihn in ihrem Ankleidezimmer.

tsc03p050

The next day he went to Elena . She received him in her dressing room.

ts-trc03p050

Dagen efter gik han hen til Elena , der modtog ham i sit Paaklædningsværelse.

d1c03p024

The day after he went to Elena who received him in her dressing room.

d1-trc03p024

❡

"Sag mir," begann er, "es ist doch Wahrheit, dass ich Werner Kreutz getroffen habe ... Und er hat mir doch versprochen, mir zu helfen ... Jch hab es doch nicht geträumt..."

tsc03p051

"Tell me," he began, "I did meet Werner Kreutz , that is the truth is it not? And he promised to help me. I did not just dream that?"

ts-trc03p051

— Sig mig, sagde han, er det virkelig sandt, at jeg har truffet Professor Werner Kreutz , og at han lovede at hjælpe mig?

d1c03p025

"Tell me," he said, "is it really true that I have met Professor Werner Kreutz , and that he promised to help me?"

d1-trc03p025

❡

Elena , die einen Besuch machen sollte und sich deshalb umkleiden musste, tat dies vor Andreas ' Augen ... ( Im ersten Augenblick war er über ihre Ungeniertheit verblüfft.

tsc03p052

Elena , who was about to make a visit and had to change clothes, did this in Andreas ' full view. He was surprised by her lack of shame at first.

ts-trc03p052

Elena , der skulde ud, begyndte ganske rolig og ugenert at klæde sig om. Andreas rødmede og blev forlegen, men Elena smilede skælmsk til ham:

d1c03p026

Elena , who was going out, quite calmly and unceremoniously began to change. Andreas blushed and was embarrassed but Elena smiled at him mischievously:

d1-trc03p026

❡

Sie lachte ihn in ihrer schelmischen Art an. )

tsc03p053

She laughed at him impishly.

ts-trc03p053

d1c03p027

"This is the best answer I can give you ...... it shows that I no longer regard you as a male but as a female friend, and that our visit to the German professor has not been a dream."

d1-trc03p027

❡

"Jch sehe, Sie machen erstaunte Augen, liebster Andreas ..."

tsc03p054

"I see you making surprised eyes, my dear Andreas ."

ts-trc03p054

❡

Er errötete etwas hilflos.

tsc03p055

He blushed, a little helplessly.

ts-trc03p055

❡

tsc03p056

ts-trc03p056

❡

a1c03p014

tsc03p057

ts-trc03p057

Nogle faa Dage senere kom der om Morgenen et Telegram fra Tyskland . Andreas skulde senest den paafølgende Lørdag være i Berlin og tage ind paa et i Telegrammet opgivet Hotel ......

d1c03p028

A few days later a telegram from Germany arrived in the morning. Andreas was to be in Berlin the following Saturday at the latest and take rooms at a hotel specified in the telegram.

d1-trc03p028

g1c03p019

Two days later Andreas was on his way to Berlin .

a1c03p015

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

❡

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg . . .

g1c03p020

Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

a1c03p016

Bereits zwei Tage danach begab sich Andreas auf den Weg ... Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

tsc03p058

Two days later already Andreas was on his way... Grete and Elena accompanied him to the train.

ts-trc03p058

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

Grete und Elena begleiteten ihn an den Zug.

g1c03p021

a1c03p017

tsc03p059

ts-trc03p059

d1c03p029

d1-trc03p029

g1c03p022

❡

tsc03p060

All this swirled in his brain... Nobody should notice. Nobody. And as the train slowly got moving, he waved a smiling farewell to both his beloved girlfriends... His face was rigid like a mask...

ts-trc03p060

❡